Suzy Q Homemaker

YOU HAD MAJOR SURGERY!

This is essentially what I have been hearing from everyone and what I have been telling myself for the past six months. Can you believe it’s been that long? I can’t. Part of my disbelief lies in the recesses of my mind–I have a girl and we are both incredibly lucky to be alive.

Fast forward to the “real” world where I compare myself to the Americanized ideal image of the typical mom at six months postpartum. Here is where I get vain, frustrated, and sometimes downright depressed. My main problem with my body right now is that I can’t wear anything but yoga pants, maternity clothes, or my larger workout clothes. Everything else is snug to the point of hurting my scar or giving me the most horrid muffin top in the universe. I don’t recall ever being this doughy, and if I have been before, I must have blocked that from my memory.

I try not to dwell on my body image, but when I’m staring down a closet full of things I can’t wear yet and I have to get dressed for real twice a week, it’s hard not to. It’s not like I’m not trying to keep myself healthy. I started teaching again three months ago so I get my exercise. I’m still exclusively breastfeeding.

I’m just not slimming down like I hoped. But I know I have things like MAJOR SUGERY and age working against me. I imagine that having a vertical incision takes longer to heal. It surely made for an ugly scar on my already wrecked abdomen.

I think I’ll just suck it up and go shopping at Goodwill. Maybe I can find some mumus and over-sized sweatpants to wear until I get over myself.

I’ll give Beyonce a slow clap for nursing in public but she isn’t the first pop star to do it, is she? To the jackass interviewed on the sidewalk: Way to make breastfeeding seem like something normal people don’t do in public. Next time you scratch your nuts in public, I hope someone calls the cops on you.

I digress.

Thanks for making a “bold” statement. [insert eye-rolling here]

But really, I’m glad that at least today’s kids have a breastfeeding role model.

My guess is that when Timothy started getting a cold last week, his ears were so clogged up that in order to pop them, he had to clamp down on something.  That something ended up being my right nipple, which soon got to the point where I could no longer nurse without crying.  I’ll spare you the gory details that involve PUS AND BLOOD.  With the painkillers, I can wear a shirt without having to hold it away from the offending wound.  For a few days, I had been walking around with my right shoulder stooped down like Quasimodo so no fabric could touch it and cause a string of obscenities that would make your mama cry.

As of October 1, 2009, a new WIC initiative aimed at increasing breastfeeding rates among families reallocates funding for all currently provided foods, including infant formula, baby foods, juices, and fresh fruits and vegetables. This program could mean a reduction of up to 20 percent in infant-formula subsidies; parents who previously had most of their formula paid for by WIC may now have to purchase formula on their own. Read more…

This is a photograve from 1890 Paris.  A group of mothers are getting their children vaccinated against smallpox.  Do you think they were concerned about that woman breastfeeding her baby in the corner without a “hooter hider” or whatever the hell you call it?

Cause seriously.  There are more important things.