is Thursday the only day I feel like writing now?

Sep 8th

I see a trend.

I also don’t know what to write about other than the pain.  It has taken up most of my life these past couple of months.  Yesterday my physical therapist pushed me pretty hard.  There was one exercise I simply couldn’t  do because it hurt so bad.  I’m making steady progress but it is going so slowly that I’m getting frustrated.  The good part about PT is that the floor is slick enough I can work on pivots.  So long as my foot is right on the pivot point on the bottom of my shoe, my ankle doesn’t catch.  Just the slightest lip of traction sends a jolt of pain right through my foot.

The visible scars are healing well.  I have three.  The longest one is the scariest because you can see the holes where all the sutures were.  There are two small ones on either side of my foot.  I’m not sure but I think one is from the arthroscopic tenosynovectomy.  Doesn’t really matter.  Internally, I feel things starting to loosen up as my tendons are slowly learning how to do things again.  I suppose it helps to have a virtual obstacle course in my own house.  I’m also walking on uneven surfaces whenever I go down the driveway to the bus stop.  My foot gets a workout all day long.

I haven’t publicly admitted to being slightly depressed.  So I guess that’s what I’m doing now.  I hate that I don’t have the energy to do much more that sit with my foot propped up after getting the kids off to school.  Timothy has been watching more television than any toddler should be allowed to watch.  He gets food all over the place no matter how many times I make him take his snacks back into the kitchen.  The second I got up to go to the bathroom yesterday he took his spagettios into the living room and spilled most of them all over the carpet.  He also refuses to wear clothes for most of the day.  But that’s more amusing than anything.  And practical considering he is trying to make progress using the potty.

Wow I’m a Debbie Downer today.  I’m broken and I want to be fixed.  I miss that Zumba high I would get after class and the sweaty hugs from all my friends.  I know I’ll be back soon.  It just can’t seem to come soon enough.

Tell you what, though: I’m definitely looking forward to my first non-fat Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season. How did the weather know it was PSL time?  I might dig around in my cabinet and see if I have any cans of pumpkin left from last year.  I managed to make some really good imitation PSL in my crock pot last year.  So good.  On a similar note, the Samuel Adams Harvest collection is out and the pumpkin beer is really good.

Alright. I’m gonna see if I can muster up the energy to make myself some breakfast.

Happy Thursday, y’all.

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