Lesson for today
Posted by: LizzieNever take a three-year-old to the gyno’s office.
I wore Simon to the office yesterday because he doesn’t tolerate sitting in the carseat for extended periods of time. That, and he’s unbelievably heavy in it, not to mention I can’t seem to carry the darn thing without obtaining gigantic bruises all over my legs. Wearing Simon made it easier for me to chase Aiden around the waiting room as he decided which seat was ideal for sitting and looking at the books made available. He was disappointed, however, when the board book about baby faces didn’t “sing.” Honestly, I hate books that sing & wish they’d never been invented, or at least, never given to my children as gifts. I told Aiden that the book doesn’t sing but he could sing a song. He then pressed on the book and sung, “La la laaaaa.” That got old quickly, so he made several trips back and forth from the bookshelf to the chair.
Once I was finally called back, I handed Simon to a nurse so I could get weighed, etc. Aiden kept taking off to explore one part of the office or another while I was getting my blood pressure checked. I wonder whether or not mothers of three-year-olds have higher blood pressure–I forgot to ask. Aiden was most interested in the stairs leading up to the mammography office, so I had to chase him back down so we could go back to the exam room.
In the exam room, Aiden decided that the little pap smear vials were perfect for stacking. When my doctor came in, she kept telling him, “No, yucky!” That really didn’t stop him. Now, at my six-week checkup, I had to get an internal, but she didn’t do a pap. She asked me if I wanted to just get it out of the way and not come back for a year.
It sounded like a good idea.
I gave Simon to the same nurse who was holding him earlier & proceeded to undress. Once my gown was on & I was sitting on the table, Aiden was having fun opening & closing the privacy curtain (we were in a room with a door, but there was a curtain, too). After a few minutes of waiting, I heard Simon crying. The crying got closer & closer until the nurse brought him back in. I asked what happened and she said that another nurse wanted to hold him. When he saw me, though, Simon calmed down.
The exam begins and the nurse holding Simon was also assisting my doctor during the exam, holding him on her hip while she was squirting goo on instruments & fingers, handing over different things to poke me with, etc. In the middle of all this, Aiden’s still trying to get into everything. The curtain is the most interesting toy, and while he had it pulled all the way open, the door opens and another nurse comes in to see if Aiden wants a lollipop. I’m splayed out on the table with my business for everyone to see, so I’m like, YES!
The nurse and Aiden go for candy and we finish the exam in hysterics.
Here’s my advice:
If you have a gyno appointment, do NOT take your three-year-old with you.
Find a babysitter, pay someone you just met in the waiting room, ANYTHING to keep him from turning a simple exam into a circus side show.
Tags: doctor's office, family life, toddlers
