My body was in there somewhere

04 Jul

My body was in there somewhere

Posted by: Lizzie

I think that part of the reason I always get the baby blues is my perception of my postpartum body. Although I lost a bunch of pounds of baby, water, and other fluids during childbirth, I still looked seven months pregnant. Sucking in my abs made me look six. Either way, I had to wear yoga pants and maternity shirts to accomodate the flabby pouch of skin that hung from my waistline.

At almost three months postpartum, I can only fit into one pair of normal jeans comfortably. I usually sport my favorite maternity capris or a skirt with an elastic waistband. Almost every day, I look longingly into my closet at the giant pile of jeans that fit so well a year ago. And I open up a cabinet of t-shirts that showed off some healthy shoulders.

Lately, I feel doughy and weak.

But I’m getting stronger.

I started going back to yoga when I was six weeks postpartum. That first class was killer, and I felt so, so depressed afterward. Great way to feel after a yoga class, I know! But before I got pregnant, I was so strong. I could hover like a champ in plank and my balance postures were awesome. During my first class postpartum, I had to modify every plank pose to my knees, and my wrists hurt so bad that I winced during every hands and knees position. My warrior poses felt awkward and I never fully settled into my final meditation.

How does one cope with postpartum body issues?

It’s certainly an adjustment. I also discovered that I have a pretty severe diastasis recti to nurse. As much as I want to work my abs to reclaim my waistline, I can’t. My yoga teacher knows someone who has separated her abs, too, and is going to talk to her about what poses to modify. I already know that I shouldn’t do any advanced boat positions or over-stretch my abs in wheel. So I’m concentrating on strengthening my shoulders and legs these days. During last night’s class, I was able to do every plank without dropping to my knees, and my wrists aren’t tender anymore. I still have trouble settling during final meditation, but I attribute that in part to my anxiety.

I do look forward to fitting into my pre-pregnancy clothes, but I need to remember that just because they fit, the body underneath needs strength more than it needs to be thin.