Suzy Q Homemaker

Yesterday we had to run errands. Doctor’s appointment, pharmacy, etc. I seriously do things like this in the car. The audio is off in some places. Coincidentally, it’s off when I’m screaming at other cars. Perhaps my phone is trying to tell me something.

I’ve heard it from I don’t know how many people now that I’m a “strong woman” who gave birth without drugs so this recovery should be a piece of cake.  While it is true I can push a human out of my vagina after enduring intense labor, all without the use of nerve-blocking  agents and narcotics, ankle surgery is hardly comparable.  Labor pain goes away once the baby comes out.  My surgeon drilled holes in my bones.  There’s a pretty big difference.

I begrudgingly stepped away from a labor conversation recently.  If I hadn’t, I know I would have put my beliefs on the table and risked a friendship.  I can’t do that.  What I assumed is that everyone who knows me knows how much I cannot stand to hear about women looking forward to getting drugs during their labor like they’re looking forward to candy on Halloween.  Debating this subject is getting old for me so I usually avoid it altogether. It just happened that I was complaining about my foot and got teased for it because I was supposed to be this superwoman who doesn’t need drugs to help me bring a baby into the world.  It was teasing, I know, but it bothered me the more I thought about it.

My birthing advice is almost always unsolicited but I can’t help it when people say things like “omg gimme the drugs”.  To each their own, I suppose.

And that’s really all I have to say about that.  I’m against using pain meds during labor.  The end.

I see a trend.

I also don’t know what to write about other than the pain.  It has taken up most of my life these past couple of months.  Yesterday my physical therapist pushed me pretty hard.  There was one exercise I simply couldn’t  do because it hurt so bad.  I’m making steady progress but it is going so slowly that I’m getting frustrated.  The good part about PT is that the floor is slick enough I can work on pivots.  So long as my foot is right on the pivot point on the bottom of my shoe, my ankle doesn’t catch.  Just the slightest lip of traction sends a jolt of pain right through my foot.

The visible scars are healing well.  I have three.  The longest one is the scariest because you can see the holes where all the sutures were.  There are two small ones on either side of my foot.  I’m not sure but I think one is from the arthroscopic tenosynovectomy.  Doesn’t really matter.  Internally, I feel things starting to loosen up as my tendons are slowly learning how to do things again.  I suppose it helps to have a virtual obstacle course in my own house.  I’m also walking on uneven surfaces whenever I go down the driveway to the bus stop.  My foot gets a workout all day long.

I haven’t publicly admitted to being slightly depressed.  So I guess that’s what I’m doing now.  I hate that I don’t have the energy to do much more that sit with my foot propped up after getting the kids off to school.  Timothy has been watching more television than any toddler should be allowed to watch.  He gets food all over the place no matter how many times I make him take his snacks back into the kitchen.  The second I got up to go to the bathroom yesterday he took his spagettios into the living room and spilled most of them all over the carpet.  He also refuses to wear clothes for most of the day.  But that’s more amusing than anything.  And practical considering he is trying to make progress using the potty.

Wow I’m a Debbie Downer today.  I’m broken and I want to be fixed.  I miss that Zumba high I would get after class and the sweaty hugs from all my friends.  I know I’ll be back soon.  It just can’t seem to come soon enough.

Tell you what, though: I’m definitely looking forward to my first non-fat Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season. How did the weather know it was PSL time?  I might dig around in my cabinet and see if I have any cans of pumpkin left from last year.  I managed to make some really good imitation PSL in my crock pot last year.  So good.  On a similar note, the Samuel Adams Harvest collection is out and the pumpkin beer is really good.

Alright. I’m gonna see if I can muster up the energy to make myself some breakfast.

Happy Thursday, y’all.