Suzy Q Homemaker

As we were climbing into bed last night, I said,

“I’m looking forward to going to bed tomorrow night.”

It’s an exhausting time of year for musicians everywhere.  We have cantatas to sing, concerts to rehearse, and our own families to take care of.  I only had one additional gig outside of the St. John Christmas Eve service, so I consider myself lucky.  Instrumentalists are never as lucky as singers, but that’s why they get paid the big bucks, right?

I never really know what’s in store for the Christmas Eve service until a couple of weeks before the big day, but I do know that it usually involves these things:

• A solo of some sort
• A chance to wear a diva dress
• A late and highly stressful dress rehearsal that runs well into the night of Christmas Eve Eve

This year is not much different, though I’m forgoing the diva dress because I’m performing a duet instead of a solo.  I am certainly not disappointed since only one of my diva dresses fit right now anyway.  Approximately three months of sick children and the subsequent eating of too much takeout have done a number on my already sagging postpartum waistline.  I have hopes of reclaiming my body, God willing, but I’m resorting to yoga pants and avoiding mirrors/photo opportunities.

I don’t know why I think that the final dress will be less stressful than previous years.  We didn’t have a major piece to learn this year, so I was really hoping that we would actually get out of rehearsal on time last night; rehearsal was scheduled to last until 9:30 p.m. but we didn’t leave until 10:00.  I owe that in part to the chamber choir rehearsal not going as well as it could have at 5:45, so we stayed “after school” to pound out the Poulenc “O Magnum Mysterium”.  Of course, at this point, everyone was exhausted and grumpy, ready to get home, and pretty much tired of being around one another.  It sounded ok, though, and I think that with some rethinking of formation, it’ll come out nicely.

Today, as I look forward to the Lessons & Carols, I also look forward to being a wreck at the end of the night.  I look forward to carrying our sleeping children into the house at 1:00 a.m.  I look forward to removing my makeup, donning some snuggly pajamas, and crashing into a dreamless sleep.

The best part about a Methodist Christmas Eve service that ends at midnight?

SLEEPING IN.

I mulled over my mini-crisis for a while in the shower this morning, and again on the way back up to the house after putting the boys on the bus.  I thought at first that I would just email my choir director, but I didn’t really know what to say.  Then I thought I would write about it in my super-secret online diary, but I remembered that no one in choir reads that, and I think that I do need some input from Joe Q. Public in this situation.  Or I might need someone to slap me in the face and tell me I’m crazy.

Nonetheless!  I felt rejected and overlooked last night and it may just be a rare moment in which I feel like a selfish, ungrateful soprano.

During a rehearsal over choir retreat weekend, I was given a solo on one of the pieces we are doing this coming Sunday.  I marked it in my music and called it good.  Then in choir rehearsal last night, the choir director turned to another soprano and asked if she would sing it.

I was so confused that I did nothing.  I said nothing.  I sang through the rest of the piece without a problem and we moved on through the rest of the rehearsal as if it it didn’t happen.

So here’s the dilemma: do I ask my director if she is giving the solo to the other soprano this Sunday?  Do I assume that she was just experimenting and just needed to hear it in a different voice?

The other soprano used to be in choir before I arrived and has been touted as one of the best sopranos the choir ever had who had to move.  Now she’s back and I’m glad to have a new, strong soprano in my section.  I hold no grudges against her or have any ill-feelings about her being there.   I’m just confused about this particular situation.

If, indeed, my choir director turns to her for the solo Sunday morning, I don’t know if I should just let it go.  My feelings will be hurt, yes, because I was originally asked to do the solo.  But I don’t like uncomfortable situations, calling anyone out, etc.  Usually, if my feelings are hurt, I bury the hurt and move on; confrontation is not on the list of Things I Enjoy.  In fact, if I can avoid confrontation for the rest of my life, I would be perfectly happy.

Now that I am counting down the last year of my twenties, though, I think it’s time I stand up for myself.  I need to start confronting those who hurt me.  Maybe it’s a stupid thing to feel hurt about, the solo, but it’s a small item on a long list of things I feel need to be addressed before it’s too late.  If I start there, I can work up the courage to ask my father why he and his wife won’t come to visit the grandson they haven’t met.

Sunday, the St. John choir performed “Loving Shepherd of Thy Sheep” by John Rutter.  This has been kind of a show piece for us since we took it to Louisville and have done it several times over the past few years.  Unfortunately, Sunday’s performance wasn’t the best we’ve ever done.  It was terribly humid and overcast, so we had problems in rehearsal staying on pitch.  To top it off, I got severely distracted by a paper crinkling in the congregation and flubbed a little bit of the opening solo.  We were slightly under pitch at the end, which made the solo at the end of the piece a little iffy, too.  Something about those descending intervals…when you get used to how they feel in the voice, even a microtone can throw you off!

Now that I’ve completely turned you off, take a listen and tell me what you think.  After all, I am my own worst critic.

I wish we could have extended our trip to Louisville so that we had been able to sleep more and enjoy our sight-seeing with leisure.  Despite the lack of sleep and emotionally exhausting people-meeting, our concert was a huge success.  I’ve never sung in a space that large AND reverberant.  It was gorgeous.  Christ Church’s new Létourneau organ was everything I expected and more.  I don’t claim to be an organ expert, but not only is it beautiful to look at, the range of this instrument is amazing.

Dan Stokes, the director of music ministries at Christ Church is an energetic, enthusiastic, and downright adorable conductor.  I enjoyed working with him in the short time that we had.  I felt like I knew him from somewhere, but I think it was just the twinkle in his eye that made him so approachable and fun.  The eccentricity that he has of winking before cuing entrances makes you feel like you’re in on a major musical secret, the likes of which can only be shared between fellow musicians.

The guest organist Andrew Risinger played well, and as an aside, my choir director, Mr. Risinger, and a member of the Christ Church choir all studied under the same organ professor.   Of course, this concert wasn’t planned around that little nugget of info, but it was a neat thread that tied the whole thing together.

I was proud to be a part of Christ Church’s Inaugural Concert.  It marked the beginning of what looks to be an exciting new concert series in Louisville, KY.  Our church has a similar series called “Concerts with a Cause” to support our Dobson organ.  I have a feeling Christ Church is going to enjoy great success with their Sanctuary Series.  Not only will the community luxuriate in the music of a beautiful instrument in a fantastic space, but through these things, they will be treated to musical events that will make any person feel like they have experienced something of another world.

Read more about the new organ and sanctuary of Christ Church here.

I’ll be in Louisville, KY this weekend on a choir trip, so Jamie will be home with the three older boys.  They always fare well while I’m gone.  I hope that trend continues.  I doubt I’ll be able to blog while I’m there, but I’ll be sure to tweet my adventures.

In the mean time, check out the new giveaway on the shopping blog and I’ll be back Monday with a post all about my trip.  Have a relaxing weekend!