Suzy Q Homemaker

Musically, I haven’t done much for myself over the past few years.  The St. John choir keeps me busy because we have a regular concert series to prepare for every year, occasional out-of-town performances, and there’s always Sunday services.  But he last time I had a solo recital seems like forever ago.

When I was asked to be a part of a summer choir under the direction of Joseph Jennings, I knew I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.  Don’t know who Joseph Jennings is?  How about the world-famous choir Chanticleer?  Well, Joseph Jennings was their musical director for twenty-something years and is now back in the CSRA.

I always find it helpful to occasionally work with other choral directors, to learn their style and develop a musical relationship with them.  Jennings is unique.  He works us hard during rehearsal but never fails to surprise us with off-color jokes or sudden outbursts of “YES LAWD.”  I am in love with all his quirks so far.

The music that we’re to perform at the end of July is challenging, most of which I had never done before.  The two pieces that scare me the most are Harvey’s “I Love the Lord” and an arrangement of Purcell’s “Hear My Prayer O Lord.”  During Monday night’s rehearsal, Jennings asked me to be in the soli chorus for the Harvey piece, so I’ve got some learning to do.  That piece is incredibly dissonant and there are some ethereal, rhythmically difficult lines that I have to sing practically out of the blue.

I’ve definitely got my work cut out for me, so I’m looking forward to this project.

Another project in the works is an all Fauré concert with a couple of musician friends.  Our hope is to have it ready by the end of August or early September.  I love art songs, and so should you.

I talk about this a lot amongst my peers.  People have asked me what I want to “do” with my music.  I’m three years out of my vocal performance degree and aside from my church section leader job, the occasional solo gig, and numerous opportunities to sing with impromptu chamber groups within the church, I haven’t really “done” anything.  Since I graduated, I have had one headliner gig where I got to choose the repertoire, a couple solo appearances for major choral works (one complete work, the others were excerpts), and featured solos on choral pieces in church choir concerts.  I’ve also done a handful of weddings.  The biggest paying gig was the Duruflé Requiem earlier this year that I wish I could un-sing.  I could blame the flu I was trying to recover from and the fact that I was enormously pregnant, but in all actuality, I was a nervous wreck because of those things and ended up gurgling my way through the first page of my solo.  UGH.

Back to the issue at hand.

My dream job.  What I would love more than anything in the whole world is to be teamed up with a few like-minded singers in a group like Anonymous 4 or Trio Medieval.  Whenever I listen to these musicians, I weep.  The first time I heard Anonymous 4, and every time since, I get goose pimples and I am completely carried away by their flawless ensemble.

And I’m jealous!  While I like soloing, I really don’t enjoy being the “star” of anything.  I’ve been shoved into the spotlight over and over but in all actuality, I want to be a part of a team.  I just don’t know how to make it happen.  All I’ve done over the past few years, aside from having babies of course, is wish that an opportunity would fall into my lap.

Putting together a solo or joint program is hard.  I have a problem with self-motivation because I’ve been so used to other people telling me where to be and when.  If I didn’t have someone on my tail all the time, I would probably never practice.  I like having someone else run the show.  Maybe I’m just lazy? In any event, I would rather be a part of an ensemble so that we could have a rehearsal schedule, performance schedule, and I would only have to worry about making sure my part was learned and that I was in good vocal health.  I don’t like deciding on my own repertoire or trying to coordinate schedules.  With two small children, it’s insanely difficult for me to ask for help anyway, and I’d rather someone just tell me when to be somewhere so I can find a babysitter based on a prearranged timeline.

I ramble, I ramble.

So how did these small ensembles get together?  Where do I sign up for being in a small ensemble and actually be able to pay off my student loans with that money?

Musically, I’m stuck.  And I don’t know how to get out of this rut.  I love my church choir, we have fantastic performance opportunities, but I’m singing for peanuts and if Jamie loses his job, we’re totally screwed.