Suzy Q Homemaker

I don’t know where I get off thinking that things would relax once 3/4 of my children were away from the house for eight hours.  It’s ridiculous!  I’m pretty sure my life just got a little more complicated simply because I am required by law to be at the bus stop with my preschooler at 7:43 a.m. and waiting for him at 4:05 p.m.

Gone are the days of yesteryear when I could throw some cereal at Corey & Aiden and then kick them out the door.  Now I have to deal with a four-year-old that asks, “What day is dis?” every morning and then gets angry when all the days are not Friday.  Corey & Aiden have to fend for themselves in the morning if they want breakfast because I’m busy making Simon get dressed and listening to him chatter about when he’s going to be big like Corey.  You see, as a fifth grader, Corey is Top Dog this year.   He’s on the School Safety Patrol which means he gets to tell other kids what to do–a perfect job for my bossy little Leo.  Naturally, Simon wants to be like Corey.  He even tries to wear his backpack like Corey wears his.  Corey carries a messenger bag, though, so Simon just turns his regular backpack sideways.  It’s quite adorable.

We still try to squeeze things into our schedules every week like going to the Y.  I can’t just go and lose twenty pounds only to put them right back on again this winter.  No sir, I have to maintain this bangin’ bod for all my gigs.  I have dresses to fit into!  Thankfully, the boys are no longer the last drop-off and Jamie gets home early enough that I can manage to go to my fitness classes at least two or three times a week.  If I can’t go to an evening class, I try to make it to a morning one.

This week is rather messed up, though, as Jamie had meetings, Timothy got sick, and my sister is leaving for California.  My family helped her clear out her storage space onto a moving truck yesterday.  I consider that to be my workout for the week as I must have climbed up and down the stairs a couple dozen times with Timothy strapped to my back.  I fetched Gatorade & whatnot when I was rendered useless by my 25-pound handicap.

Tonight, we will be saying goodbye in a new tradition: the First Annual Townsend-Albin-Campbell-Grant-Holden Family Pie Fight!  I am very much looking forward to smashing paper plates full of whipped cream into some deserving faces.  What family doesn’t love each other enough to throw things at one another?  We have raised the bar, folks.  The Christmas Toy War may be trumped by this pie fight.  Will it be as epic as The Three Stooges?  We’ll see…

We’re rounding out the second week of school in these parts and the magic of Pre-K is starting to fade for Simon.  The first week was very exciting as he got to experience riding the bus, getting pizza on Friday, and eating cookies at snack time.  This week, however, it has been difficult to wake him in the mornings.  He went from leaping out of bed to screaming at Aiden for looking at him during breakfast.

In our family, we have a “no video games” policy on school days with the exception of Fridays–if their chores are done & rooms are clean.  So when I woke Simon this morning, I tried to cheer him up by telling him that it was Friday.

“You can play video games today!  And it’s pizza day at school!”

What Simon failed to understand was that the video games were not going to be played until he got home from school.  This set him off for about fifteen minutes and then he decided that he didn’t want to go to school at all.  I’m guessing that he thought if we just stayed home he would get to play all day.

He tried everything in his power to convince me he didn’t need to go to school.  Finally, while reluctantly putting on his shoes, he looked at me with big puppy-dog eyes and said,

“But Mommy, I’m going to miss you.”

Nice try, dear.  You’re still going to school.

My kitchen is huge, but I hate mopping it!  I think I hate it more than the boring zumba class I went to a few weeks ago.  The teacher seemed to be more out of shape than I was and she mumbled into her mic the entire time.

“[mumble mumble] left [mumble mumble] right [mumble mumble] WOO!”

I was so uninspired that I almost walked out.  The promise of a yoga class right afterward was my only saving grace, although that night we had a sub who thought it would be hilarious to call out every variation of boat that there was.  Canoe?  REALLY?  I considered it a major victory just to be able to let go of my legs in boat.  I’m pretty sure I ripped something that night.

Anyway, my kitchen.  Can you imagine trying to keep a kitchen floor clean with four boys?  Especially now that one of them (TIMOTHY!!) likes to say “Uh oh!” and then proceed to drop pieces of food over the edge of his highchair tray.  Then add to that a retarded cat who makes a huge mess while she eats and you’ve got a recipe for danger.

Asking all of the kids to stay out of the kitchen while I mop is a near impossibility, so I took an idea from my sister, who got the idea from my mom:

Four boys plus + bowl of soapy water =

This afternoon, I will be leaving with my family for a much-needed vacation to Pawley’s Island, S.C.  We’ll be joining my sister and her family, my mom and stepdad, my uncles and aunt, and my grandmother.  I’ve never been to this beach, so I’m really excited.

Also exciting is that as of this afternoon, Jamie will not have to go to work until school starts in the fall!  He has a contract with Augusta Christian this coming school year, and I don’t think I could ask for a better summer.  It’ll be about ten thousand times easier to handle four rambunctious boys with another person to do some wrangling.

I’ve scheduled a couple of posts to keep you all entertained while I’m gone, and I may try to do some Droid blogging with my wordpress app if I get the notion.  What’s a blogger without a laptop on vacation?  Oh yeah.  I’ll be taking that too.  I have to have some way to dump all the pictures I’m going to take, right?

Spring Break around these parts happens during Master’s Week.  If one doesn’t give a crap about golf (like us!), there are a few options:

1. Stay home and avoid all the traffic/tourists/people camped out on the sides of roads with signs that say ‘BADGES WANTED’.
2. Risk life and limb to ogle all the nerds with badges who wander around Augusta looking spiffy in their polo shirts and golf pants.
3. Go out of town.

We opted for a little of number one and a little of number three.  On Tuesday of Master’s Week, we surprised the boys with a trip to the Riverbanks Zoo to celebrate our anniversary and to get out of the house.   The last time we went to the zoo as a family, Corey was three and Aiden was a baby!  I took Aiden and Simon to the zoo a few years ago with our playgroup, but neither one of them remember because at the time, Aiden was three and Simon was a baby.  So it was about time for us to revisit the zoo and see what Simon thought about all those animals.

Like most road trips that we take, this one was not without its trials.  We are notorious for having to turn around at least once.  Thankfully, we did not accidentally drive to Florence, North Carolina like a friend of mine did on the way back from a choir retreat.  No, Jamie and I only missed the exit by about five miles, so we were able to turn around and do some fancy driving to get to the zoo.  We both swear there used to be more signs for the zoo along I-20.  WE SWEAR!

Parking at the zoo was its own adventure.  The overflow parking was backed up to the point where cars had to turn around at the end of a row, creating the biggest cluster-you-know-what in the universe.  Add to that a dumb girl in a Toyota who stole a parking spot that we were waiting on, blinker and all, a few hungry kids, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.  Jamie and I both said some words we should not have in front of the boys.  Oops.

When we finally made it inside of the zoo and into the restaurant for lunch, Simon took one look at the map and announced that he wanted to see the penguins.  Aiden wanted to see the Elephants, and Corey wanted to see the crocodiles.  There was to be a penguin feeding at 3:30, so we decided to save that for last.

In general, the zoo was great.  The weather was perfect, the crowds weren’t too large, and the boys were well-behaved.  Timothy even slept for a bit while he was snuggled up in the Didymos on my back.  Everyone got to see what they wanted, including the new Brown Bears and the baby giraffe.  When it came time to head over to the penguins to watch the feeding, we were glad to be getting out of the sun.

The crowd was starting to gather for the penguin feeding and the boys were enjoying watching the penguins as they dove in the water, stood on the rocks, and waddled around in that penguin way they do things.  I can’t say I was surprised by what happened next.  In fact, I’m surprised we had not witnessed an event of this nature earlier in the day, because nearly every time Jamie and I have been to the zoo, this happens.

So this one penguin was standing on a rock right in the middle of the penguin display when another penguin sauntered up behind it.  The penguins then proceeded to do their thing and an uncomfortable murmur spread throughout the not-so-innocent bystanders.  Parents exchanged knowing and awkward glances while children squealed.  Corey then yelled,

“WHAT ARE THEY DOING???”

As it was, the penguins had some beak action going on, so Jamie was like, “They’re kissing!”  I’m glad he jumped in there with an answer because I was pretending I didn’t hear him.

Other parents with even younger children who weren’t asking questions just laughed and laughed.  I wanted to point at them and tell them that their time will come.  Oh-ho!  Their time will come!  No longer will trips to the zoo be sweet, innocent fun!  No!  You’ll see ostriches “wrestling” in the grass and flamingos “fighting” in the water and “kissing” will no longer be an acceptable explanation for bizarre penguin behavior.  Yes.  YOUR TIME WILL COME.