Suzy Q Homemaker

It’s a well-known fact that kids like to sing songs and if they don’t know the words, they’ll just make them up.  Right? Right.  But what if I told you that my children like to make up words that are completely inappropriate…and ON PURPOSE.  Would you be surprised?

We aren’t.  One day, they’ll realize how ridiculous they are, and I just want to note here on my blog the songs that they have ruined:

“Silent Night” — Aiden make up words that go like this:

Silent night, frankenstein.

You know that Christmas song that is really super annoying that goes:

Simply having a wonderful Christmas time!

Corey didn’t understand the words and somehow misconstrued them into this:

I don’t know, I had it, I want it for Christmas Eve!

Then Simon took it a step further:

I hate it. I hate it. A wonderful Christmas Eve!

Finally, when Simon got a toy truck for Christmas that sang a song about dump trucks, we had to put a stop to all this nonsense.  Here is what the dump truck sings:

In and out!  In and out!

That’s what dump truck’s all about!

Aiden’s rendition:

In and out! In and out!

That’s what butts are all about!

We simply told him to stop singing it once we were done laughing our faces off.

I spent way too much time hunting through sites full of pop-ups and annoying hover-advertising to find you the cutest free coloring pages for Halloween.  As far as I know, none of these are on sites with pop-ups.  Enjoy!

Ragdoll Pumpkin Head from Momsbreak

Friendly Witch from lovetoknow

Halloween Friends from Ziggity Zoom

This is my favorite Halloween activity so far this year (the boys liked it, too!):

That Silly Pumpkin Head from Angry Chicken

Simon has a problem.  It started off innocently enough, this love of “blue pants”.  But it has grown into something ugly.

Every day, when we get dressed, Simon says, “I need blue pants.”

You see, the blue pants don’t necessarily mean “blue” like the color.  He has about five pairs of jeans that mostly qualify as “blue pants,” but there are other factors that make pants worthy of his taste.  In order of importance, here are the features of pants that Simon must have:

1. Front pockets
2. Back pockets
3. A button
4. Actually being blue
5. Bonus points for all of the above plus belt loops

Obviously, sweat pants are out because they do not meet any of the above requirements.  And if a pair of pants are corduroy or green, and they have pockets, he is OK with them.

So why this affinity toward “blue pants”?  I honestly don’t know!  Having access to pockets I can understand.  Simon likes to carry things around with him throughout the day: a small deck of Pokemon cards, rolled up pieces of paper that he found somewhere, or small toys.  If he has belt loops, the probability that I will let him play with a sword goes up and he’ll be able to put it in the loops instead of down his pants.  Yeah, he likes to stick things DOWN his pants, too.

In order to please His Royal Highness with the Blue Pants, we do have to make sure that at least one pair goes into almost every load of laundry along with a few pairs of underwear.  Even though he has been potty-learned for a year, pants-wetting still happens at least every other day because he has either waited too long or because Jamie tickled him too much.  The other night, they were playing around and Simon suddenly stopped to say, “I peed myself!”  He sounded so surprised that we laughed about it for the next three hours.

I hope this Blue Pants Phase goes away soon.  It’s frustrating that there are ten pairs of pants that he refuses to wear sitting in his dresser drawer, and the pants he is willing to wear are all getting worn out.  FAST.

When you grow up in a theater family, it is really, REALLY hard to put aside all you’ve learned and truly enjoy a first grade play.  Especially if you went to a creative arts school in elementary, middle, and high school like I did, public elementary school productions are hardly comparable.

At least first graders are cute.  And when they are singing “We’ve Got the Whole Globe in Our Hands” to the tune of “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands”, it’s even cuter.  Instead of singing about “itty bitty babies”, though,  they’re singing about all the continents:

“We’ve got EURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-OPE, in our hands!”  Emphasis on the RRR.  Cause this is the South after all.

In a lunchroom/auditorium full of screaming toddlers, whining babies, and parents who are only paying attention to and running their own commentary on what their little angels are doing, I think I handled myself quite well.  I didn’t seek out the child that yelled during the final ten minutes or throw things at the teachers who talked the entire way through.  In fact, I had to tell Corey to be quiet once, even though the parents sitting two rows up were yakking it up.

And guess what?!  My child now knows how to do the Macarena.  I’m so proud.  Thankfully, whoever taught them their dance substituted a twirl at the end for hip gyrations.  I was horrified at first, but then I got tickled.  Even still, it’s good my mother and I were sitting in the back row because we could hardly contain our giggles.

Aiden, who was very concerned about our enjoyment to the point that he was asking me again this morning if I liked his play, had the “Eight Spiral Notebooks” part in their “Twelve Days of First Grade” song.  If you guessed that it was sung to the tune of “Twelve Days of Christmas,” you are correct, sir!  He proudly held up his poster when it was his turn, displaying his eight spiral notebooks with all the energy of a typical first grader.  I’m surprised he didn’t hurl himself backward with all the force he used to whip that card up in the air.

Congratulations on a job well done, Aiden.  Years from now, when you find Macarena videos on youtube or whatever popular video website is in fashion, I hope it doesn’t give you nightmares.

When I visited Aiden’s class on Monday for “All About Me Day” one of his classmates asked him if he liked to watch “rasslin” on TV. Aiden stared at him blankly and I had to say, “No, Aiden doesn’t watch wrestling.” The kid then proceeded to tell us that it comes on at 9:00 or 9:30. Aiden’s teacher gasped and asked what he was doing up so late. I was shocked, too. All of our kids go to bed between 8:00 and 8:30. The only day of the week that they get to stay up late is Wednesday night because we’re at church and my choir rehearsal runs until after 9:00.

So my question is this: What time does your first grader go to bed?

Aiden’s teacher was very firm when she told that kid, “Eight o’clock is a first grader’s bedtime.” And I agree.  Weigh in on the poll below and leave me a comment if you have anything to add.