Suzy Q Homemaker

Ten months.  It feels strange to say it, Timothy, but that’s how old you are!  You went from a tiny, bright-eyed newborn to a cruising almost-toddler in what seems like a flash, and I am not ready to plan for your first birthday party.  Just a few months ago, you discovered how find tiny things on the carpet and sneak them into your mouth.  Now, I’m able to put tiny pieces of carrots and bananas on a high chair tray for you to eat. EAT!  You are eating!

Don’t get me wrong: nursing still makes for about 95% of your diet.  It always has been your favorite thing to do, and unless I’m at the store, you cannot go more than three or four hours without nursies.  Lately, though, you only want to nurse if we’re lying in bed so you can practice some yoga moves while still latched on.  I’m not a fan of eating in downward-facing dog position, but hey, whatever floats your boat.  Just keep your teeth out of it, ok?

Speaking of teeth, you bit me a couple weeks ago and it’s still sore, Timothy.  I had to go to the doctor because of my INFECTED HUMAN BITE.  It is now on my permanent medical record that you bit my right nipple, causing it to “itch, ooze, and bleed.”  We’re on the mend, thankfully, and I hope that by next week, nursing won’t be nearly as excruciating as it has been.

Physically, you’re right on track.  Well, I think we are.  I totally forgot about our nine-month appointment last month, so I need to reschedule.  I’m going to assume that you weigh as much as you need to weigh and are as tall as you need to be, even though you look so tiny to me when you’re standing up next to the couch.  The standing up thing is still freaking me out, too.  Please wait another week before you decide to start walking.

There are a few things that you like to do that make us laugh right now:

• Chase the vacuum
• Clap your feet together
• Carry toys in your mouth like a dog

I’m glad you aren’t afraid of the vacuum, but it makes it hard to clean up after your brothers when you try to attack the vacuum cleaner!  For a while, you didn’t crawl fast enough to catch it, so I was able to out-maneuver you.  Now, I either have to hold you or get someone to distract you with something almost as awesome in order to get it done.  No matter–it’s still hilarious.

Daddy and I like to hold you in the air so you’ll clap your feet together.  There really is no other way to explain this, but it kind of reminds me of a strange clown dance.  Make sense?  Kind of?

The carrying of toys in your mouth has been happening ever since you could crawl.  My guess is that you need to be able to carry your things to the next destination because you have the inability to spend more than five seconds in one place.  Anything that fits and is light enough for your mouth to hold is fair game, but it is easier if the toy can hook over your two bottom teeth.  For the record, you carrying stuff in your mouth also makes the nursery workers at church laugh and they like to give you toys that are portable just to watch you do it.

These last two months of your first year are going to be full of more milestones and more fun.  Like I said, I’m not ready for you to be a year old, but who am I to try to stop time?

These wooden keys from Mama Made It look like a much better alternative to handing over the icky car keys to your teething baby.  Plus, if they get lost, no one will be late for work.

My guess is that when Timothy started getting a cold last week, his ears were so clogged up that in order to pop them, he had to clamp down on something.  That something ended up being my right nipple, which soon got to the point where I could no longer nurse without crying.  I’ll spare you the gory details that involve PUS AND BLOOD.  With the painkillers, I can wear a shirt without having to hold it away from the offending wound.  For a few days, I had been walking around with my right shoulder stooped down like Quasimodo so no fabric could touch it and cause a string of obscenities that would make your mama cry.

Is whiskey on the gums natural?  What about baby numbing gels?  What are your grandmother’s or secrets for easing the painful gums of a teething baby?

The dilemma:

We want an all-natural, frugal way to ease Timothy’s pain without mess, side-effects, or voodoo.

I’ve read that you can give your baby frozen bagels, waffles, and other food items, but if it’s not eating time, I honestly don’t want to bother with food!  It’s messy and Timothy isn’t really eating a lot of solids anyway.  I’ve also read and tried the frozen wet washcloth, but after a minute or two, a baby doesn’t want to hold a freezing cold rag in his hands.  Would you?  Sure, it might feel good on the gums, but it isn’t practical.

The solution:

I finally figured it out today, though, and you need three things for my less-mess, non-food, natural teething relief:

1. An ice cube
2. A baby washcloth
3. A rubber band

I’m assuming you know what to do with these three things?  With most of the washcloth loose and dry, Timothy was able to hold onto the teether without getting his hand wet and cold.  He gnawed on that ice cube until there was no ice cube left!  And I briefly considered capitalizing on my genius idea, but decided it would be nicer of me to share it with you, my friends and readers.

I’ll get stinking rich off of something else, I guess.

Or: More Reasons My Life Is Overwhelming At Times.

You see that?  This is the best shot I can get of Timothy when he’s busy.  Those beautiful longies are now pilled and shedding and practically felted on the crotch because this boy DOES NOT STOP.  No, not for anything.  Ok, sometimes he stops rolling/swimming/scooting/wiggling to check out a puddle of spit-up that he just made or a wad of cat hair Lucy graciously left for me as soon as I got done vacuuming.

Seven months have brought forth a whole slew of milestones.  Timothy can roll, he can maneuver his body into plank pose for several seconds, probably outlasting some of the old people in my yoga class.  As I type this, he is exploring the living room floor with one toy in his mouth–that’s where most things end up.  Our bookshelves are once again littered with The Things I Have Taken From Timothy or Picked Up Before He Could Get To Them:

• Legos
• Pennies
• Pencils
• Tiny Paper Bits
• Leaves
• Rocks

Hey, this list can also be a list of things that I have to remove from pants pockets and you’ll probably find many items like this on my dryer!  Coincidence!

For those who are keeping score, Timothy weighed in at over 17 pounds last month, and when we were at his WIC appointment on Monday, he was 19 pounds (with clothes and wet diaper–soaking wet).  No, he hasn’t started to eat table foods yet.  He is so close to sitting up by himself; he rolls onto his side and sticks his foot up in the air like this:

But then he loses his balance and lands on his face.  I wish I could video this event so you can see this because, while you probably aren’t supposed to laugh at your child when they do a face plant, we do.  Plus, he doesn’t seem phased by it, so who cares?  My point is that he is still mastering the whole sitting-by-himself thing, and once we put that together with the pincer-thing, we’ll plop down some avacados or something yummy in front of him to see what he’ll do.

Meanwhile, we’ve got other hurdles to overcome, such as the fact that diaper changing time is now WRESTLEMANIA 2009!!!!  Oh my sweet baby Jesus, Timothy cannot STAND to be changed right now.  No, he has more important things to do, thankyouverymuch.  How DARE we try to hold him down and get a wet diaper off of him.  We are such horrible, horrible people, keeping him relatively clean and dry, right?  Even if we are putting the fastest kind of diapers on (pockets), we aren’t fast enough and we have to hold him down with one arm while he writhes in agony, screaming at us because we will not let him roll over and bite the rail of the table.

Speaking of biting, where are Timothy’s teeth?  Shouldn’t we see some by now.  Good grief!  This child has been slobbering and gnawing on anything that touches his chubby little hands (look at those dimples!!).  I can see the whites of the bottom two teeth, but they will not break through.  What’s up with that?  Maybe the teeth will come in when he’s got the pincer-thing and sitting-up-thing going.  Then we’ll all have a New Teeth Party and celebrate with some homemade guacamole that Timothy will make for us…in his pants.